Tonight I Wanna Cry
by RegretfulDragon
Summary: Set after Transwarped. What if Sari had pierced Bumblebee's spark during her upgrade? What would a certain cyberninja think of her now? 'Nother one-shot!


A/N: Just a quick little drabble I did while wasting my free-time at college. Not the best I've ever done, but it still makes one wanna go, awww.....poor guy. Yes, it was written to the tune of Keith Urban's _Tonight I Wanna Cry_. I was in a weird mood. Not entirely happy, but not emo either. Somewhere in between. Oh, well. Enjoy.

**Title: **Tonight I Wanna Cry

**Characters: **Prowl

**Summary: **A what if set after Transwarped. What if Sari had pierced Bumblebee's spark? What would a certain cyberninja think of her now?

**Warnings: **angst, mentions of past slash (don't like? Don't fragging read it!)

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Light flickered off the walls of the silent room. The large screen television was tuned to some program on safari and jungle cats, but the exact details were lost as the sound was turned all the way down. Prowl stared blankly at the screen, not even least bit interested in the show. On either side of the ninja-bot were scattered holo-scans and regular Earth photos of him and a yellow mech no longer with them. Three weeks had passed since Sari's disastrous decision to upgrade herself, and none of the Autobots had known peace since then, Prowl in particular. In her uncontrolled state, the techno-organic had accidentally stabbed her best friend. Right in the spark. Even with Ratchet's experience, he'd been unable to do more than repair a few blown circuits and broken relays before going to stop Sari from hurting anyone else.

Prowl grimanced, his spark throbbing painfully as the rest of the memory played itself out before him. He'd stayed behind to help look after Bumblebee. The little scout had called out to him, and he was by his side the next astrosecond, gathering him into his arms and cradling the injured mech like a sparkling. Bumblebee had started talking nonsense, or at least nonsense then. He began recounting memories as if he'd never be able to tell them again, even though Prowl kept telling him Ratchet could fix him. Both knew that was lie, wishful thinking on their part.

He'd told Prowl how happy he'd been to be part of the team and know them all as his friends for so many stellar cycles. How frightened and shy he'd been when he realized he was in love with the older mech, and his joy when he'd discovered Prowl felt the same. The devotion he had felt towards the black and gold mech, and the absolute ecstasy he'd felt when they joined their sparks for the first time. His optics had begun to dim then and his voice was getting shallow and weak. With what strength he had left, Bumblebee had leaned up and kissed Prowl for the last time.

At the time, Prowl had welcomed and returned it, pouring all his passion and sorrow into that final gesture of love. Now, he wished he'd said more, told Bumblebee how much he'd meant to him. When they finally broke, Bumblebee had smiled at him, optics darkening, and murmured in a weak voice so low Prowl had barely heard it, _'I'll wait for you'_. Once baby-blue optics shuttered, and his frame had grown unnatually still. Prowl still remembered all too well the agonizing pain that had lanced through his chassis as Bumblebee went offline in his arms, their bond severed forever, his bright yellow armor fading to grey.

Another empty cube of high-grade disappeared into the trash bin beside the cement couch. Prowl cleched his servos in his lap, frame trembling with just barely repressed sobs. He couldn't count the times that Sari had apoligized to him since the incident; he didn't want to forgive her. She'd been partly forgiven by the rest of the team, knowing that key had simply overloaded her systems, and she hadn't been able to control it. However, she had disobeyed orders from Prime and endangered the city. Taking Bumblebee offline had only sealed the deal. It was easier to place the blame on her, even though Bumblebee had just as reckless, throwing himself into danger, without thinking no less, against Optimus' order. It was her fault anyway. If she hadn't been so reckless, so irrational, so _desparate _to prove herself as capable as them, Bumblebee would still be with him, and he wouldn't have to live with this pain Primus saw fit to bestow on him by letting him live. Prowl knew that the scout would disapprove, but he just couldn't find it in his spark to forgive the girl who had taken life of his bondmate.

It had been three weeks since then. Three weeks since they sent the grey frame to Cybertron for proper burial. Three weeks since Prowl had let his emotions show to anyone. He'd become just as cold as he'd been before meeting them. Old photos and high-grade had become his friends, barely acknowledging any of his teammates. He hesitated to call them as such anymore. His processor buzzed slightly from the effects of the high-grade in his systems. Picking up a recent holo-scan, he stared at it for a good breem. He had been meditating, and Bumblebee had come strolling in and sat in his lap, servos on his knee joints with the most content expression Prowl had ever seen on him. Prowl had wrapped his arms around the beetle's waist and smiled, unaware of Ratchet hiding with the camera.

Once again, his spark pulsed in grief, reminding him of the hole left from their separation. The dam to his self-control broke. Keeping the picture close, Prowl wrapped his arms around his legs, pulled his knees to his chassis, and laid his helm on his arms. Soft, barely audible clicks emitted from his vocalizer, shoulders rocking as a human's would when they cried. He didn't care if anyone came in and found him like this, crying his spark out. He didn't care if any of the higher-ups ever thought he was weak for such a display of emotion or if the humans didn't understand how bad he hurt. He'd kept it in for far too long. Even if he couldn't forgive Sari--and he doubted that he ever would--, enough was enough. It didn't do the pain he was feeling any justice, but all Prowl wanted to do at that moment was let out his misery. He just wanted to cry until he couldn't feel the pain anymore. Until he was numb.


End file.
